SIR NOSE ON LINE

restaurant critics

The Nose Says

"I love food. I believe myself to be the one in ten who can tell the difference. When you go abroad you usually notice how much better the food is than here in the south of England (in the north, and by this I mean beyond Manchester, things improve somewhat, but only by English standards). For example if you drive through any sleepy town in Italy you will always be able to find good food at reasonable prices. By good I mean simple, but none the less delicious, cooking, fresh home prepared ingredients.

In England one tends to have to search out better places. Personal recommendation from trusted friends is best but we will still need to consult a guide book or keep track of newspaper reviews and the such like to help find new places.

The only problem is that I, for one, have become increasingly sceptical of restaurant critics and guides. I have eaten at many of the most highly rated, not to say priced, restaurants in the country, especially near or in London, and I'm more often than not disappointed. Pretentious food with too many conflicting flavours, menus not in English, very formal but none the less second rate service (I don't care how much a waiter fanny's about if he brings a plate of assorted cheeses to the table and does not tell you what they are, as far as I'm concerned, he is as good as useless). My list of gripes is long but my main thought is why do the critics crack up this, that, and the other place when I know that they aren't worth it.

Not mentioning names but two well known London restaurants with eccentric chefs (just unpleasantly arrogant and rude if you ask me) are cracked up by the media as almost the best there is. These guys have the nerve to tell the paying customer what he can and can't choose or whether salt is permitted. Advice is one thing but not to allow..... if I told my customers that they can't have what they want I'd be out of business. I advise them when they seem misguided, but they can certainly have whatever they want (given it's legal of course).

So what you ask?

I'll tell you what, why do so many restaurant critics continue to crack up these places? I've certainly no idea and it means their advice is useless. Maybe such and such a chef can cook a perfect sauce this, that or the other but so what?

What counts is, at the moment of paying do you feel the world is a better place and the price was worth it? Did the restaurant make you feel good? I know plenty which don't but are loved by restaurant critics.

I'd love their job, I could do it better. The first thing I'd say was what type of restaurant it was, how much per person, was it worth the money, and did you feel good about life when you left? Not a lot to ask from a so called expert. Instead we get a lot of mumbo jumbo like it was an eclectic blend of classic French and modern eastern. What does that mean to you and me! All we want to know is was it any good?!

I hope I've made my point! Thank you for your attention."